Being Turtle

"I've got a river of life flowing out of me... spring up oh Well and make me whole."

       I'm a very goal oriented person so when I feel like I'm at a stand still in my Christian walk I feel like I should do something to change it up a little to get past the plateau. That works in fitness why shouldn't it work here, right? 

      For the past year our church hasn't really been able to move past some issues that we are having and it's caused a lot of hurt, abandonment, accusations, and many other painful situations. I keep thinking we just have to keep going to see God's reasons for all this pain, but honestly I'm starting to waver. It feels as though we are all so caught up in the 'noise' that we can't put the proper attention into the ministries that are right in front of us. When I think of the year to come I'm feeling very discouraged. I can't stand to think that maybe we'll be in the exact same spot next year and have another year thrown away for nothing. I know God is moving, but I barely can see it because it looks different then how it ever has before. 

      I am reading Proverbs 18 today and finding comfort. 

18:10 The name of the Lord ³²  is like ³³  a strong tower; ³⁴ the righteous person runs ³⁵  to it and is set safely on high. ³⁶

 18:11 The wealth ³⁷  of a rich person is like ³⁸  a strong city, ³⁹ 

and it is like a high wall in his imagination. ⁴⁰ 

18:12 Before destruction the heart ⁴¹  of a person is proud,

but humility comes ⁴²  before honor. ⁴³ 

18:13 The one who gives an answer ⁴⁴  before he listens ⁴⁵  –

that is his folly and his shame. ⁴⁶ 

18:14 A person’s spirit ⁴⁷  sustains him through sickness –

but who can bear ⁴⁸  a crushed spirit? ⁴⁹ 

18:15 The discerning person ⁵⁰  acquires knowledge,

and the wise person ⁵¹  seeks ⁵²  knowledge.

I do so much think that all of this trouble is going to grow me in a way that I wouldn't have grown otherwise.      

Slow and steady... Slow and steady...

Being Encouraged

I can be there for you when it can't get much harder
I can cover your head when life starts to rain
I can hold on tight when you feel like you're falling
I can bread crumb the path when you've lost your way
I can make you laugh when the whole world is crying
I can build you up when you're broken in shame
But if all that we do is absent of Jesus, then this so called love is completely in vain...


This song speaks to me and I wanted to share.

Being a Happy Ending

 I love hearing women's love stories, there's just something so real and exciting about them. Does that make me a hopeless romantic? Probably, I don't care.
Quite often I'm asked how I fell in love with my husband, and all I can really say is a little bit at a time. When I think back to our beginning I wonder if it really was love that I felt at that time. It looks and feels so different than it does now. I'm sure in another 15 years it will look completely different from now, and I'll be contemplating it again. I love that about love, it's constantly changing but it's still remains so powerful.

When I said my vows 13 and a half years ago, I didn't expect that I would be so happy. I HOPED I would be, but I didn't expect to be. In my mind our marriage could have gone a lot of different ways. All I knew was that I was going to do what was best for my child and to me that was a 2-parent family. I'll give you a little insight into me, I'm a very accepting person. It has it's advantages but it also has it's disadvantages. Advantage- I adapt to situations pretty easily. Disadvantage- I never think to try to change things. So when I came into this marriage I just accepted that it was going to be my life and I would just live within it no matter what happened. I wasn't sure if there would continue to be love or if resentment would set in either my heart or my husband's once things became hard. Thankfully God knew this about me and gave me someone who was the polar opposite and would want to see change eventually.

I'm so thankful for the decision so many years go, even though it was made out of necessity it was the right one for me.