Being Obedient

Last year when we were just starting to think about adoption I decided that my short answer for when we were asked why we were doing it was simply because we felt "God wanted us to and we were going to obey." I had no idea this was going to be a running theme throughout this year. This year has been...difficult, to say the least. There has been some huge challenges, so huge that you can't see out of the hole we're in. I've also seen a very small glimpse into what it must have been like when the crowd who had just been laying their coats down for the messiah to walk on were now yelling "crucify him,"when Jesus was on trial. It's in my nature to always look for the good, but this year I've been let down many times. And in some ways it feels like betrayal. But, I've also felt deep comforting peace that I know can only come from my Creator. I feel like something big is about to happen, bigger than me and bigger than my little family. God doesn't need me to accomplish his will. He's just giving me the privileged of having some very small part of his plan.

Being Mama, for now.

A friend of mine posted a picture today of her Charlie Brown type table Christmas tree with the caption "Simplifying Christmas this year". This almost instantly made me long for the day when the craziness of having 5 young ones under my roof will be gone and I can "simplify my Christmas". Almost immediately after having this thought I realized that it was an awful way to think about it. I don't want to wish my children's childhood away just because I want a quiet house. I need to embrace it while I can because time is fleeting. I have a very limited amount of years to help cultivate these little souls. Now I just need the stamina!


Luke 2:15 When the angels left them and went back to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem  and see this thing that has taken place, that the Lord  has made known to us.” 2:16 So they hurried off and located Mary and Joseph, and found the baby lying in a manger.  2:17 When they saw him, they related what they had been told about this child, 2:18 and all who heard it were astonished  at what the shepherds said. 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these words, pondering in her heart what they might mean.  2:20 So the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising  God for all they had heard and seen; everything was just as they had been told. 

^{I love in these verses how it says that Mary "pondered these things, wondering what they could mean". I can relate to that! I feel like I am always  wondering what people mean by what they are saying. One of my friends recently told me that she can tell when I speak that I am weighing my words before I say them. I knew I did this but I didn't realize I was so transparent. Honestly I do like to talk, but I want it to matter. Plus I've gotten into trouble many times for not thinking before I opened my mouth.} 

Being the Introduction

I love good writing! I read a few blogs that I adore and I read these women's words and wish I could articulate my feelings that way. Sometimes I daydream about it, about what it would be like to inspire someone with what God is teaching me just through my words. My husband says that a good writer is someone who has something to say, and that's me. I'm not exactly sure what he means and honestly most of the time I feel like my thoughts are all jumbled into a word
soup in my head. But every so often I get this clarity that can only come from God and everything turns crystal clear. I hope to be able to channel that here. We will see.

Let's start with an introduction

I'm a wife to a bible school student and a mama to 5. I like to create things, run for exercise, and have a favorite color for each season (I just can't pick one). I also have so, so many flaws that God is chipping away at, you will no doubt hear about them as time goes on.

I invite you to come along with me as I take this adventure through motherhood and become the mother God wants me to be for my kiddos, and the wife for my man. I'm most definitely a work in progress.

(Note: when I say read blogs i really mean follow them on Instagram and read tiny little snippets that the owners post because that's all this girl's got time for!)