I had a conversation a few months back with my 8 year old. He said to me very politely, "mom, I know you are good at a lot of things, but what are you best at?" I didn't know how to answer him because I dabble in a plethora (look at me using college level vocabulary!!) of different activities. It made me wonder am I spreading myself out too thin so that I cannot really excel at anything?
If you know me you know I have a lot going on at pretty much all times.
I like to blame it on heredity, because I grew up in chaos, but really I think it's a coping mechanism. I have a major character flaw called pride, I like to think I can do a lot on my own, but honestly there is no earthly way I could accomplish what I do without God's help. I'm working on it and trying to give credit where credit is due, but I fail A LOT!
This year God has been leading me in some interesting directions and is teaching me which things in life I'm truly interested in. There has definitely been some surprises along the way, but it almost all has been exciting. I have decided to step back a little from a few ministries that I do enjoy, but I feel led to move on from and take on some huge, hard projects that are not quite so comfortable.
In many ways the past year I have felt like a failure or at least ignorant because I didn't see it all coming down the pipe. Losing friendships is not easy, but sometimes its necessary for growth.
So to answer my boy's question, what am I great at? It's hard to say because with greatness also comes a large amount of failure and that is hard to shake off. I just hope that I am great at being a student of this life and those around me, because I am still a work in progress.
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